


Closure

by xtinyteenyx



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Insecurity, M/M, past TK Strand/Alex relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:35:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtinyteenyx/pseuds/xtinyteenyx
Summary: Alex shows up in Austin, and TK gets the closure he needed.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 125





	Closure

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this thing on tumblr awhile back about how a lot of fics make Alex out to be an abusive jerk, (myself included) so I wanted to write something where he still did what he did in the show, but he's not a *huge* ahole.
> 
> And I will forever suck at summaries.

It was TK’s first week back, and it had thankfully been on the slower side. He was doing a lot better, only a slight twinge of annoyance if he moved too fast, or did too much. He had been rather nervous about coming back, but he was on ‘light’ duty, which basically just meant he was kept outside of the burning buildings, and was the back-up on ‘high stress’ calls. 

TK knew this is where he wanted to be, and where he needed to be, but he had been nervous about his return. 

Thankfully the team had been in amazing at keeping him occupied, whether it be his dad keeping him talking about random topics, or Judd teasing him, Marjan keeping him up on the crazy calls he had missed while he was on leave, or Mateo, who loved to hear about TK’s new and blossoming relationship with Carlos. Paul was his favorite person to be around while at the station, the past week had solidified how much TK appreciated his quiet, straight-forward and observant qualities. He just had this way of knowing what TK had needed, whether it be to step away from a scene, or be saved from one of the others, or even just silently handing him Tylenol with a knowing look. It had made his return back so easy, and helped prove just how much of a family his team had become to him. 

Then there was Carlos. 

Carlos, who came to eat lunch with him whenever he had the time off. Carlos, who made sure to check in to see how he was doing. Carlos who stopped by the station just to say hi. Carlos, who sometimes went out of his way to bring him bubble tea, even though TK knew how much Carlos didn’t like going there because of the girl that didn’t know what, ‘I like men’, meant. Carlos, who he’d meet up with any time he could just to see him smile. Carlos, who he snuck secret kisses with while finishing up on a job they wound up on together. Carlos, who woke him up when he was having nightmares. Carlos, who held him when he had a panic attack after a car backfired and sounded too much like a gunshot. Carlos, who is letting TK call the shots on their relationship because he knows that TK was scared to be in one again. Carlos, who hasn’t pushed for anything more than what TK was willing to give, even if he wanted it. 

TK knew that Carlos wanted to make them official, wanted to be able to call him his boyfriend. TK had wanted to take it slow, after the night of the solar flare, when they decided to give them a shot, but at this point, TK wasn’t really sure what he was waiting for. Carlos was everything he wanted and everything he needed, so he wasn’t sure what was holding him back from just going all in. 

“You’re looking pretty deep in thought there, kid.” Judd stated from his spot in front of the coffee maker. TK knew he’d be there a while trying to figure it out if someone didn’t help him. From the frustrated button pushing, it seemed like he’d already been there a while. 

“It’s nothing.” He shrugged, pushing Judd out of the way to fiddle with the machine himself. 

“By that twinkle he had in his eyes, I’d say he was thinking about a certain Austin police officer.” Marjan said, from her position at the counter, stirring her tea. 

“He does get a certain look when thinking about him.” Mateo added in agreement.

TK rolled his eyes as he handed the freshly made coffee to Judd. He couldn’t even disagree, he had been thinking about Carlos. 

“Has anyone seen, Paul?” TK asked, not so subtlety changing the topic.

“Went up to talk to Cap a bit ago, said he noticed something strange and wanted to bring it to his attention.” Judd answered, raising his mug up to TK in thanks. 

“Strange?” 

“Like, strange around the station?” 

“Dunno,” Judd shrugged, “you’d have to ask them.” He nodded his head towards Paul and Owen, who were walking towards them. 

“What’s going on, Cap?” Mateo asked, straitening up from his slouched position against the counters.

“Nothing to worry about. Paul noticed a car driving by the station too many times to be normal, and now he noticed the same car parked out front since this morning with a passenger inside.” Owen replied, making his way to the fridge. 

“Yeah, dude seemed suspicious. Almost every time I stepped outside I noticed it drive by, looking at the station.”

“I didn’t notice anything.” Mateo shrugged. 

“Me neither.” TK stated, trying to think back, but he came up blank.

“And that’s why y’all need me around.” Paul said with a smirk. 

“True that, brother.” Judd patted him on the shoulder as he walked past him. 

“We let APD know, they’re sending someone over just to check it out.” Owen told the team, as he finished making his espresso and followed Judd out of the kitchen area. 

“Huh, I’m kind of curious.” Marjan looked to Mateo, then to TK, seeing the same curiosity in their eyes. 

“Leave it alone guys, APD will check it out and then he’ll be gone.” Paul said with an eye roll, knowing exactly where the three of them were headed, as he walked out of the room. 

“Let’s go check it out!” Mateo pushed off the counters. 

“Yeah, and maybe if we’re lucky they’ll send over TK’s boy.” Marjan winked at TK, following after Mateo. 

“He’s not my boy,” TK responded, following their lead, “and he’s getting off work soon, I don’t think they’d send him.”

“Hmm, knowing his work schedule?” Marjan nudged Mateo, “Seems like his boy to me.” 

“You guys know we’re just dating, its nothing serious.” 

“Yet.” Mateo replied, with a bright smile to TK. “And check it out, they did send your boy.”

TK peeked out the bay doors and saw that it was in fact Carlos, talking to whoever was in the car. TK was, it had to be something weird if it hit on Paul’s radar. 

Carlos had moved his body the slightest bit, and TK was able to see who was in the car, and he froze. His heart was racing, and he felt his hands shaking at the shock of seeing him. What was he doing here? He shouldn’t be here. TK had moved all the way to Texas and thought he’d never have to see him again. Yet, there he was. Sitting in a car, out front of their station, talking to Carlos. Smiling close-mouthed at, in that way he did when he was nervous. 

It made no sense. 

TK felt himself moving, walking towards the car. He could hear Marjan and Mateo’s voicing yelling after him, probably his name, but he couldn’t concentrate on what they were saying. 

As he got closer, he could hear him speaking to Carlos.

“-nds weird, but I’m looking for a friend, I lost his number but I know he works around here so I’ve been driving by trying to see if I can find him.” 

“Well, sir, I’m sorry about not being able to find your friend but you’re making people nervous.” Carlos stated, his soothing, friendly voice reaching TK’s ears. 

“I’m sorry Officer, I wi-” and he stopped dead, as TK made eye contact with him. Carlos turned to see who the man was looking at, and was surprised to see TK. He knew something was off instantly, TK’s eyes were dull, his face blank, in an attempt to mask what he was feeling. Carlos hadn’t seen TK look like this since he had moved to Austin all those months ago. 

“TK?” Carlos questioned, unsure of why TK had come over while he was in the middle of questioning someone. 

“What are you doing here, Alex?” TK demanded, standing just a few steps behind Carlos, not even able to focus on Carlos’ questioning. 

“Alex?” Carlos questioned, he looked back and forth between the two. TK noticed when it fully clicked in his head, he watched as Carlos went into full cop mode. He straightened to full height, his friendly smile turning into a scowl. 

“Sir, I need you to step out of the vehicle.” Carlos stated, moving so he was standing in front of TK. And while it was nice that Carlos felt the need to protect him, he knew Alex wouldn’t do anything. 

Seeing Alex standing in front of Carlos, he saw every single difference between the two, and he wondered what Carlos was thinking, as he looked at the man that once destroyed him. Alex was lanky, and on the shorter side, while Carlos was tall and bulky with muscle. Alex had an awkward, unassuming presence, while Carlos had a strong, confident way about him. Alex’s choice of everyday clothing were khakis and nice, pressed button-up, whereas Carlos’ choice of wear was jeans and a t-shirt or polo. 

“Sir, I am going to need you to tell me what your business is here, because from where I’m standing, this could be considered stalking.” Carlos crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Stalking?” Alex spluttered, “No Officer, it’s not like that at all, I swear!” 

TK stepped up next to Carlos, putting his hand on his arm. TK felt him relax just the tiniest bit, he looked over at TK, eyebrow raised in question but seemed to get what TK was asking, and nodded to him before they both turned their eyes back to Alex. 

“What are you doing here, Alex?” TK asked, trying his best to keep his voice even, and not give away how affected he was by seeing him. 

“I wanted to talk.” Alex shrugged, like it was that simple. 

“So, you came all the way to Texas?” TK asked, incredulously, “How did you even find me?”

“Well, see, I figured you didn’t want to talk to me right away, after what I did, so I gave it a couple weeks before I tried calling you. I just wanted to talk, see if I could explain myself, but you didn’t answer. I figured you were just ignoring my calls, so I tried your apartment, but someone else was living there.” Alex explained, “It took me awhile to finally work up the courage, but then I tried the firehouse, and one of the guys told me you moved to Austin and let me know which firehouse you were working at down here.” 

TK would have to find out who he talked to and ask them not to give out that kind of information about him, especially to ex-boyfriends. 

“So, you found out he moved and you came all the way to Austin, from New York, just to ‘talk’ to him?” Carlos asked, his tone hard and unbelieving, his arms crossed making him look way more menacing then he was. 

“No, I was going to let it go. I figured if you moved all the way here then it was done, and I should let it go, but then he told me that you’d been shot… and I just, I just needed to see you, to make sure you were okay.” 

“Then why didn’t you just come in to the station and ask for me?” TK asked, confused.

“Well, at first I just wanted to make sure it was the right place, so I drove by a few times hoping to see you. I didn’t want to go in asking for you if you weren’t actually there.” Alex explained, running his hand over his head, another nervous tick of his. “Then this morning I saw you and your dad, so I parked.” 

“So, you knew I was here and just, sat out here all day?” TK asked skeptically. 

“Okay, I can see why that sounds weird, but if I’m being honest, I was afraid of running into your father.” Alex replied, embarrassment coating his voice.

“So, you were just going to sit here and hope he came out by himself so you could get him alone?” Carlos asked, voice hard. Which, TK understood, it all sounded creepy. And while TK was pissed that he was there, and his heart hurt at seeing him again after the last time, he knew Alex intentions weren’t malicious. 

“Well, when you put it like that I seem like a creep, but like I said before, it’s not like that.” Alex stated, giving Carlos a hard look before turning his attention back to TK, “I just want to talk, please?”

TK took a moment to think. Did he really want to talk to Alex? Talk to the man that broke his heart? Talk to the man who made him think that he was nothing? That he wasn’t worth sticking around? The man who told him he had been sleeping with someone else when TK was ready to propose? TK had been so broken and hurt by Alex, that he had held himself back from even trying with Carlos. 

But maybe that’s why he should talk to Alex.

“Okay.” TK nodded at Alex, seeing him deflate in relief. 

“Ty,” Carlos’ voice sound concerned, his stance softening while looking at TK, “Are you sure?” 

“He’s allowed to call you, Ty?” Alex voice was incredulous, looking to TK like he deserved an explanation, “Is he your boyfriend?”

“That’s none of your business, Alex.” His voice rough with anger, “You don’t get to stand there and get mad at me at the thought of me moving on when you were the one that made it that way in the first place.” 

Alex went to respond but was interrupted by Owens voice calling out from behind him, “TK, shifts over. Are you going home wit-”

And TK knew exactly why he stopped talking, if the look of panic Alex had on his face, was any indication. 

“Alex.” Owen’s voice was hard, arms crossed tight, “You have a lot of nerve showing up here.” 

“Sir, I know.” Alex was fidgeting, and could barely look into his eye, “I’m sorry, I just wanted to talk to him.”

“After hurting him like that, you just want to show up after he’s finally starting to heal?” Owen’s voice demanding, Alex flinched at the tone. 

“Dad.” TK tried to step in, putting his hand on his dads arm. 

“Do you even know what that did to him?! Are you even aware what happened after-”

“Dad!” TK exclaimed, stopping his father from bringing up the relapse. He knew what his father was trying to do, understood the desire to make sure Alex knew just what TK went through in the aftermath, but TK didn’t want that. He didn’t need that. He just wanted to have their conversation and move on. 

“It’s okay.” TK’s voice was soft, trying to sound stronger then he felt. 

“TK, he-”

“I know, dad.” TK interrupted, “but me and Alex are going to talk and then he’s going to go back to New York.” 

TK and Owen shared a look between them, TK trying to get his father to just let him take care of it, while Owen was trying to keep TK as far away from Alex as he could. It seemed TK won out in the end as he let out a breath and nodded. 

“Fine, but Officer Reyes is going with you.” Owen stated, the other three men turned to him in different variations of confused, shocked and concerned. TK was obviously confused as to why his dad thought that he needed Carlos to look after him, it’s not like Alex was going to do anything to harm him, and TK was more than able to fight his own battles. Alex was shocked that Owen thought TK needed protection against him. Carlos was concerned as to why he was needed, and curious if Owen wanted him to go because he was a police officer, or because he was dating his son.

“What? Dad, no. We’re just going to talk, I don’t need a babysitter.” TK responded, annoyed at the notion that he needed someone to protect him. 

“TK, please?” Owen looked at TK pleadingly, and TK got it. It wasn’t that he didn’t think that TK couldn’t talk to Alex by himself, it was because he was scared. The last time he had talked to Alex, he wound up overdosing in his apartment. And as much as TK knew he would be okay, he wouldn’t refuse his father this, not after everything he’s put his dad through. 

TK sighed and nodded his head, he saw the look Alex sent him, like he was annoyed and hurt that he wasn’t trusted to be around TK without supervision, but TK didn’t care. It wasn’t about Alex. 

“Carlos, are you okay with this?” Owen asked, part of him knew that Carlos would never say no, not when it came to his son, but he wasn’t about to force the man if he was uncomfortable. 

“Of course, sir.” Carlos nodded, confused on what was happening, but he would never deny either Strand. He cared for TK too much to not be there when he was needed, and he respected Owen too much to deny his wishes. 

“Thank you.” Owen nodded at Carlos, before turning to TK and putting a hand to his shoulder, “I’ll see you when you get home, son.” 

As soon as Owen was out of ear shot, Alex stated crossly, “TK, I really don’t think we need this guy watching us.”

“Alex, there are a lot of things that have happened that you don’t know about, and I won’t deny my dad this, if this is what he wants.” TK stated firmly, “And Carlos will keep his distance, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Alex looked over at Carlos, before turning to TK and nodded in agreement. 

“Why don’t you go to that park around the corner?” Carlos suggested to TK, his voice soft, nothing like the hard tone he used with Alex. “You can sit and talk, and I’ll wait by my car.” 

TK nodded, before turning to Alex, “can you follow us in your car?” 

“Yeah,” Alex replied, somewhat defeated, “I’ll, um… I’ll meet you there.” 

As soon as they were in the car, buckled in and driving, TK let out a shaky breath, not realizing just how stressed and panicky he had been feeling while talking to Alex. He felt his eyes burning, but he refused to cry again for Alex. He leaned his head back against the headrest, eyes closed and trying to breathe through his tension, trying to ignore the feeling of vibrating out of his skin.

He felt Carlos’ hand land on his knee, and TK automatically reached down to link their hands together. 

“I know you’re not okay, so I won’t ask.” Carlos’ voice was soft and concerned, “But you know I’m here for you.” 

TK knew Carlos had to be confused. He had let him in about the overdose and how Alex had told him he had been sleeping with someone else as he was about to propose, but that was the end of what he had opened up about. And now Carlos was here, holding his hand while he was on his way to talk to the man that broke his heart. 

“You,” TK took a deep breath, before opening his eyes and looking over to Carlos, “you can ask.” 

Carlos looked over at TK, making sure he was sure, before turning his gaze back to the road, “Why does your dad want me to be there?” 

“The last time I talked to Alex I wound up overdosing in my apartment.” TK could hear his voice shaking, and could feel Carlos squeeze his hand in reassurance that he was there, “I think my dad’s just scared that he’ll say something that will make me relapse.”

“Is… is tha-”

“No, no, you don’t need to worry about that.” TK jumped in, knowing what Carlos was trying to ask. 

“Okay, but you’ll let me know if that changes?” Carlos asked, almost cautiously, like he was worried that TK would get angry at him asking. 

“I will.” TK promised, “I’m in a good place right now, and seeing him has me feeling a lot of things, but I’ve come a long way since New York and I won’t let him take me back to that dark place again.” 

Carlos parked the car, before turning towards TK, bringing their linked hands up so he could kiss the back of it, “I’m here, if you need anything.” 

“I know.” TK gave Carlos a soft smile, cupping his cheek. 

“And if he says anything that hurts you, or that you don’t like, I will arrest him for you. I can say it was for stalking and have Paul as a witness.” Carlos replied, only half joking. 

“My dad would love that.” 

“Well, I am trying to make a good impression with him.” Carlos shrugged, winking at him. TK could help the smile he gave in return, which was just one of the things TK loved about Carlos, he always had a way of making him smile, even when TK had no desire to. 

“Hopefully this won’t take long.” TK said pulling away to leave the car, when he heard Carlos opening his door too. TK turned to him and lifted and eyebrow in questioning. 

Carlos shrugged before stating, “I like to be ready for anything, and being outside the car will get me to you faster, if need be.” 

TK huffed as he pulled himself completely out, and meeting Carlos in front of the car, “Trust me, it’s not going to come to that.” 

Carlos leaned on his car and shrugged, “Then I’ll just be here enjoying the sun and waiting for you.” 

TK just nodded his head at him before walking towards Alex, who had found an open park bench. He had thankfully pushed himself to one end, so TK could do the same, so there was plenty of room between them. 

“You know, even I wasn’t allowed to call you anything but TK, he must be pretty special.” Alex’s voice was tainted in jealousy, and TK instantly stiffened with anger. 

“It doesn’t matter if he’s important to me or not, you didn’t come all this way to drill me about another man. You said you wanted to talk to me, that’s fine, but we are not going to sit here and discuss him.” TK stated sternly, Alex gave a small nod. 

“You’re right.” Alex replied, shaking his head, “Us breaking up was my fault in the first place, I don’t have a right to feel angry about another guy in your life.” 

TK saw Alex give him a once over before asking, “Are you okay? I mean, I know you’re back at work but, being shot that jus-”

“I’m fine.” TK replied, he still had some issues that he was working through, but that wasn’t something he was about to talk about with Alex.

It was silent between them then, awkward and tense in a way TK had never felt with anyone. He looked at Alex and was surprised to not feel lingering feelings. TK still felt things for Alex sure, but those things were more confusion and anger and sadness. He wouldn’t lie and say he didn’t miss Alex, he did. But any lingering feelings of love and trust were gone. 

“I’m so sorry, TK.” Alex finally broke the silence, his voice cracking with emotion. 

“I’m not here to hear your apologies, Alex. The only reason I’m here is because I deserve an explanation.” TK stated, wrapping his arms around himself, “I want to know what happened to make you go to him, why wasn’t I enough for you?” 

“What?” Alex asked, confused, “Is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time?”

“What the hell was I supposed to think? You slept with another man, while you were with me. How can I think anything other than me not being enough for you?” TK asked incredulously.

“That wasn’t it at all, TK.” Alex stated his eyes wide, turning his body completely to face him. “You were more than enough for me, TK you’re everything. It was me that wasn’t enough.” 

TK didn’t know how to respond to that, his brain stirring in confusion, and annoyance at being confused. Alex obviously saw it on his face because he continued.

“You knew I had some… insecurities. We’ve known each other since we were five, you know how down on myself I get. I have no confidence in anything I do. I mean, it took me years to come out to my parents, and you were always the one that took the leaps in our relationship because I was too scared to. I second guessed everything. From the moment we started dating I never felt like enough for you.” Alex confessed. 

“Did I not treat yo-”

“No!” Alex cut him off, “It had nothing to do with anything you did. You were always perfect.”

“Perfect?” TK laughed harshly, “I could write a book on all my imperfections, and most of them you were there for. You were the one that had to go to my parents when I was going off the rails with the Oxy.”

“Yeah but that didn’t matter to me, it never did. You were always perfect in my eyes, and I just never felt like I could measure up to you. I mean, TK, you’re one of the most beautiful people I have ever met.”

“This…this is about the way I look?” 

“I mean, I was in love with all of you, your big heart and your personality. But, subconsciously, I always thought you deserved to be with someone better looking than me. It was always in the back of my head, but I knew you loved me, so I could push it back. I mean, you were with me for a reason.” 

“Yeah, because I loved you. You could’ve had three eyes and I still would have, you know I’ve never cared about looks.” 

“And I knew that, and for years I pushed it back, but then other people started telling me those things. When I met the new guy at your firehouse, like, two years ago, Brian? The moment you walked away he asked me how someone who looked like me could bag someone like you.”

“Brian was a creep who was fired within a week for sexual harassment.” 

“There was another memorable time when we were at a bar, and you walked away and some guy came over asking about you, so he could pick you up, I told him we were together and he laughed, loudly and went back and told his buddies, who also found it hilarious.”

“Who gives a damn what some random assholes at a bar thinks?” 

“Then it was my brother, who was always shocked when I told him that, ‘no, you had not broken up with me’, and he told me it was only a matter of time.”

“Alex, your brother was a jealous ass that did anything he could to tear you down.” 

“Then I overheard some of our friends, talking to each other about when they thought you would dump me because you needed more than what I was giving.”

“So, what, your insecurities built and built with the bullshit people said and you decided to just sleep with someone else?”

“All these people were just saying to me what I already was feeling, and then the guy at the gym started paying me attention, and in my head I just figured I should try to move on from the idea we’d be together for the rest of our lives.” 

“Let me get this straight, you are telling me you slept with another man because you wanted to move on from me when we were still together?” TK asked dubiously. “And instead of coming to me, and talking to me about all these insecurities and what you were feeling, you decided that I was going to break up with you so you might as well move on?” 

“I know, TK.” Alex stated, his eyes wide and regretful, “I know how ridiculous and stupid and crazy it sounds. I do. This isn’t an excuse, I’m not trying to make you feel bad for me or try to make what I did okay, because it wasn’t. It wasn’t okay. You are the love of my life.” 

“Why are you talking present tense?” TK questioned, his mind racing, “You told me you were in love with the guy you were sleeping with.” 

“I lied.” Alex shrugged, “I don’t know why I thought that would hurt you less. I guess I figured if you thought I was in love with someone else and that’s why I slept with him, you wouldn’t be as hurt.” 

“Alex, what the f-”

“I know.” Alex cut him off, racking a hand through his hair, “I know how that sounds. Trust me I do… I completely ruined everything I loved because I was scared you would realize that you could do so much better.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me, Alex? I mean, we could’ve fixed this sooner. I could’ve reassured you and we could’ve found a way to fix it and instead-”

“Instead I broke your heart.” Alex finished the statement, looking distraught, “I sabotaged our relationship because I was scared of our relationship ending.”

“I didn’t even notice… I mean,” TK paused, not sure how to finish. 

“TK, it was my own head and I didn’t notice how warped my thoughts were getting. I was so sure and confident that how I was going about things was right, that you proposing was a fluke and you deserved better and I was more suited to be with someone like Mitchel. It didn’t really hit me until a week later, when I saw him again, how twisted and wrong my head was. I didn’t love him, I barely even knew him, and I wrecked everything because I thought you needed better than me.” Alex shook his head, looking away from TK, “I started seeing a therapist after that.”

TK had expected a lot of different things from this conversation with Alex, but this had not been one of them. As much as he wished that he could call bullshit, and tell Alex he was just a selfish asshole who wanted more than TK, he knew he couldn’t because he believed everything that Alex was saying. How could he not? 

TK and Alex had been best friends since the age of 5, when Alex had moved in next-door. They went to the same school, were in the same clubs, and hung-out with the same group of friends. Alex was there for him when his parents got divorced, when the towers fell and he was sure his father was dead, and when TK had gotten in over his head with Oxy. Alex was the first one he told when he realized that he was gay.

And TK had been there for Alex, when his mom left, and when he got jumped walking home from his grandmothers. TK was the first one to find out Alex was gay, and helped him come to terms with it and telling his conservative family. 

TK knew Alex, and he knew Alex has underlying issues with his insecurities, just like Alex knew his, so of course TK believed it. But that belief just had TK circling with what he was feeling. TK knew better than anyone the dumb things one can do when they were feeling insecure or insignificant. Alex told him he cheated and loved someone else, and TK went looking for someone who would trade Oxy for an engagement ring, relapsed and almost died. 

“I know what you’re thinking, TK.” Alex said, effectively pulling TK out of his thoughts. “I know you and I know that your beautifully caring brain wants to be angry but you also don’t think you have the right to, because I was struggling with my mental health. But TK, you still have every right to be upset. I was your boyfriend, you were ready to marry me and I slept with someone else and made you believe I loved him. That doesn’t go away.”

And TK knew that, he knew that he had every right to still be pissed. No matter what he was going through, Alex still broke TK more then he thought possible.

“I trusted you more than anyone.” TK replied, his voice breaking as he felt his eyes burn. Everything that TK had been trying to hide, and push back so Alex wouldn’t see, finally coming to the surface.

“I know.” Alex stated, setting his hand on the bench between them, like he wanted to reach out but knew it would be un-welcomed. 

“You were my best friend, my rock.” TK went on, feeling a few tears escape, “You were the one who I thought would always be there for me, and would never hurt me. You were everything to me… I thought you were my soulmate.” 

“I know, TK.” Alex turned his body more towards TK, his voice breaking.

“I loved you more than anything.” TK’s voice was soft, as he looked over at Alex, needing him to know. 

It took a moment, for Alex to get it, but TK saw the moment he did. The way his eyes went wide, turning away quickly from TK and taking a deep breath before looking back, “Past tense?” 

“Past tense.” TK confirmed, his voice steady. “I’m sorry for what you were going through while we were together, I wish I knew and I wish we could’ve gotten past it and what happened never happened. But it did happen, and I was broken for months after that. Broken to the point of my dad moving me all the way to Texas in an attempt to help me get better, in an attempt to help me forget you.”

“Did it help?” 

“It did.” TK replied, not missing a beat, “I haven’t felt this happy and free in a long time. I’m in a good place here.”

“I’m…” Alex took a deep breath, “I’m so glad that you’re happy, TK. I know how this is going to sound, because I was the one that caused you so much pain, but all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

“I only ever wanted the same for you, Alex.” TK replied, giving him a small smile wiping any stray tears off his face. 

Alex gave a sad smile back before looking away, TK following his gaze to Carlos, who seemed to be scrolling through his phone, but TK could see the not so subtle glances in their direction. 

“He is, isn’t he?” Alex asked, turning both of their attention away from Carlos, “Your boyfriend?” 

“No, he’s not.” TK shrugged, “We’re dating, taking things slow… he knew I had a, uh, bad break-up so he’s letting me call the shots.” 

“Is he good to you?” Alex asked. TK looked at him, unsure if he should answer. Alex did admit that he was still in love with him, and while Alex had hurt him, TK had no desire to hurt him back. Alex obviously caught the hesitation, giving TK a sad smile and saying, “Please, tell me? I know I don’t deserve anything from you but, if he makes you happy I want to know.”

“He’s…” TK took a moment, “he’s one of the best things to ever happen to me.” 

“Good.” Alex replied, “He seems like a good man… I was actually pretty scared he was going to take a swing at me back at the firehouse.” 

“He wouldn’t have,” TK said, before smiling and adding, “he was in uniform.” 

“Well then… I’m glad I didn’t meet him in street clothes.” Alex replied, giving TK a small smile back before turning serious once again, “I am sorry, TK.”

“I know you are.” 

“I’m going back to New York tomorrow night.” Alex stated, “When I’m home do you think we could-”

“No.” TK interrupted, knowing what he was going to ask. As much as this talk may have helped, there was no way TK was going to suddenly be back on regular speaking terms, “But maybe, someday.” 

“Okay.” Alex nodded, standing up, “Goodbye, TK.” 

“Bye, Alex.” He replied, before Alex turned and walked away back towards his car. 

As soon as Carlos noticed, he was on the move, making his way over to TK. 

“May I sit?” Carlos asked, tone cautious. 

TK smiled, and patted the spot next to him. Carlos sat and put his arm around TK’s shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I am.” TK responded, watching Alex drive away in his car, “Thank you.” 

“For what?” Carlos asked, curiously. 

“For being there for me, for listening to me and taking care of me,” TK shrugged, turning his head to look into Carlos’ eyes, “For being you.” 

“Always, Ty.” Carlos smiled, leaning forward to place a reassuring kiss on TK’s lips, which TK retuned. 

TK put his head on Carlos’ shoulder, happy to just sit with him. 

TK had expected to feel a lot of things after talking with Alex, but he hadn’t expected the calmness, and feeling of content. He felt like, maybe he got the closure he needed. It was nothing like how he thought the conversation was going to go, but seeing Alex, hearing him talk and remembering how he was, it helped put what he had with Carlos into perspective. 

With Alex it was always TK making the moves. Always TK taking care of Alex, making sure he was okay, always making the first steps to further their relationship. 

With Carlos, he didn’t feel the need to constantly be the one to push, or question what he wanted or needed. Carlos had put his cards on the table from the beginning, TK knew what Carlos wanted from him, and maybe TK was finally ready to give it to him. 

But not today. TK didn’t want Carlos thinking in any way that seeing Alex pushed him into going all in in their relationship. He didn’t want Carlos to have any doubts, so he’d wait a week or two… or maybe just a couple days. 

TK wasn’t in love with Carlos, not yet. 

But Carlos was so easy to love, that much TK knew for sure. That was part of the reason he held back for so long, because TK knew how easy it would be to fall in love with him.

And with the decision to just let it come, to not overthink this and to just let himself be happy with Carlos and give in to everything he had been hiding from, he knew it wouldn’t take long to fall head over heels in love with Carlos Reyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully that wasn't awful and you enjoyed the read. Thank you!


End file.
